Every Strong Team Knows How to Repair Conflict

Workplace conflict is more common than most leaders think. In fact, according to a study by CPP Global, employees spend an average of 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict, and a significant portion of it remains unresolved.

The issue isn’t necessarily that conflict exists, but that teams don’t always understand what kind of conflict they’re actually dealing with. And that’s because not all conflict looks the same or acts the same. 

There are typically four types of conflict at work:

• Task conflict: What needs to be done is unclear or misaligned

• Process conflict: There’s disagreement on how the work should get done

• Status conflict: Ownership, roles, or decision-making authority are unclear

• Relationship conflict: Trust, respect, or communication has broken down, often due to past or unresolved issues

Each type requires a different response. But when teams fail to name the conflict, they default to avoidance or quick fixes that don’t actually resolve anything.

Okay, so this is where the idea of “repair” comes in. Repairing conflict is a true leadership trait, and it’s what separates teams who silently carry resentment from those who build real trust through how they work through challenges together.

Five ways that conflict actually plays out on your team

Most of the time, conflict occurs not due to what people say but due to how people respond. Quite simply, two people can experience the exact same situation and walk away with completely different outcomes. 

This is where conflict styles come into play, like the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model. This model outlines five common ways people respond to conflict, including competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating.

Chances are, you’ve likely seen all of them play out across your team before:

• Competing: This is pushing for your perspective to win, often in the name of speed or certainty

• Collaborating: This is slowing things down to find a solution that works for everyone

• Compromising: This is meeting in the middle to move forward

• Avoiding: This is sidestepping the issue entirely, hoping it resolves itself

• Accommodating: This is prioritizing the relationship over your own position

None of these are inherently right or wrong, and each style of conflict has a time and place at work. The problem, however, is that most people default to one or two styles, regardless of the situation.

Okay, so this is where things start to break.

Avoiding people might keep the peace in the moment, which allows for tension to build. Competing people might drive a decision quickly but can leave others feeling unheard. Even collaborating people, when overused, can slow progress to a crawl due to a lack of confident decision making.

High-performing teams know how to adapt their approach to conflict based on what the moment actually requires. The goal? To move through communication challenges in a way that strengthens trust.

The post-conflict reset: A simple framework to follow

At work (and let’s face it, everywhere else!), most people avoid conflict because they don’t know how to do it without making things worse.

Nine times out of ten, this is because people don’t know how to navigate through the tunnel that is a challenging conversation without burdening their emotional load or simply guessing at what to say in the heat of the moment. 

Fortunately, there are some simple action items you can put into practice to repair conflict:

1. Name the moment

Start by bringing the conversation back into the open. Don’t hype this up in your brain or over-explain it to your colleague. Just acknowledge that you’re in conflict and bring awareness to the issue.

The idea here isn’t to relive an uncomfortable interaction but to signal that the interaction matters enough to revisit and repair it.

Try this

“I’ve been thinking about our conversation earlier this week and wanted to come back to it.”

2. Share your perspective and not your conclusion

It’s easy to jump to a conclusion when it comes to navigating conflict. Perhaps you want to explain what the other person has done wrong. But, it’s important to remain grounded in your own experiences and to simply describe what you noticed. This will allow you to leave space for a different interpretation of the situation, which opens the door to two-way communication.

Try this

“When we shifted direction in that meeting, I felt caught off guard and a bit out of the loop.”

3. Get curious about their perspective

If you skip your ability to actively listen, you’re not repairing conflict and instead you’re just restating your side of the coin more clearly.

This doesn’t help anybody. So, instead, ask a real question that you don’t have the answer to and then listen for a response. You’ll gain new knowledge on the situation that is outside of your perspective. If you can truly hear this, the person you’re in conflict with will start to feel seen, which is a critical step in the road to being understood. 

Try this

“How did that moment feel from your side?”

4. Reset expectations together

Okay, so once both perspectives are on the table, it’s time to figure out how to actually move forward.

At this stage, you’re moving from understanding someone to aligning with them so that you can resolve things. To do this, keep it simple and focus on the future. What would make things better next time? 

Try this

“Next time, it would help me to have a quick heads-up before we shift direction like that. Does that work for you?”

5. Close the loop

Finally, you need to acknowledge that you’ve just worked through something together and close out the conversation. That means reinforcing that you’re both on the same page and signalling to the other person that you’re ready to move forward without holding any lingering resentment. 

Try this

“I’m glad we talked this through. I think this will make our next project smoother.”

Conflict is going to be inevitable. Repairing it is an active choice.

Every single team on the planet deals with conflict in one way or another. It is an entirely natural part not only of work, but of our entire lives. 

What matters most, then, is how you bounce back from conflict. Those who handle conflict well are able to name exactly what happened and stay in the conversation long enough to start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And it's because of this that they’re able to strengthen how they work with colleagues.

So, the next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation at work, I encourage you to turn your friction into information and replace your assumptions with a shared understanding of the objective situation. It might not feel natural at first, but the more you practice repairing conflict, the more resilient and trustworthy you’ll become.

If you’re navigating ongoing tension or unresolved conflict on your team, explore our Conflict Coaching and Mediation services to help you move forward with clarity, trust, and alignment.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Conflict doesn’t break teams, but avoiding it or mishandling it does. These are the questions I hear most when leaders are trying to navigate it well.

• What does healthy conflict actually look like on a team?

  Healthy conflict is direct, respectful, and focused on the work, not the person. People are willing to say what’s true for them, listen to other perspectives, and stay in the conversation long enough to reach clarity. It might feel uncomfortable in the moment, but it doesn’t leave behind confusion or resentment.

• When should I step in to address conflict versus letting the team work it out?

  If the conflict is productive and grounded in the work, let it play out. Step in when it turns personal, starts affecting trust, or begins to stall progress. Your role is not to eliminate conflict, but to make sure it stays constructive and doesn’t damage the team dynamic.

• What’s the first thing to do after a conflict happens?

  Don’t rush to smooth it over or ignore it. Pause, then create space to talk about what actually happened. Focus on understanding before solving. Most conflicts escalate because people feel misunderstood, not because the issue itself is impossible to resolve.

• How do I handle conflict with someone who avoids difficult conversations?

  Lower the pressure and make the entry point easier. Be clear about why the conversation matters, keep your tone grounded, and avoid overwhelming them with too much at once. Sometimes repair starts with creating enough safety for the conversation to happen at all.

• How do you reset after conflict so it doesn’t linger?

  You close the loop. That means naming what was learned, agreeing on what will be different going forward, and making that explicit. Without a clear reset, people walk away with their own version of the story, and that’s where lingering tension comes from.