“Where Can I Support You Better?” A Simple Question That Builds Stronger Teams
Every manager asks their team questions throughout the workday. But, most of those questions are about the work itself.
Questions like “How’s the project going?” or “Have you finished that report?” are undoubtedly important, of course, but every now and then, it’s worth pausing to ask a very different kind of question.
“Where can I support you better?”
I genuinely believe this is one of the most powerful questions a leader can ask their team. Why? Because it’s simple, and it sends a very clear message. That is: I’m here to help you succeed.
One of the things CliftonStrengths has taught me over the years is that no two people need support in exactly the same way. We all bring different talents, perspectives and ways of working to our roles, so it makes sense that what helps one person thrive may not be what another person needs at all.
In this article, I’ll explore why this one simple question can help leaders build stronger relationships and unlock the best in every member of their team.
First things first: Why don’t employees just ask for help?
The thing worth knowing is that most people don’t wake up in the morning and decide to struggle in silence.
That said, this happens every day in workplaces across the globe. For instance, an employee gets stuck on a project or feels unsure about a decision and, instead of speaking up, they keep pushing through and hope things improve on their own.
There are countless (seriously… countless!) reasons why this happens.
Some people worry they’ll look incapable. Others don’t want to burden their manager or teammates. Some assume they’re expected to figure things out themselves. And sometimes, people don’t even realize what kind of support they need until someone takes the time to ask.
So, when a manager regularly asks, “Where can I support you better?”, it creates the space required to invite dialog, and it makes asking for help an expected part of doing great work. This is far better than being the manager people only seek when they’re already struggling!
Three types of performance gaps this question can uncover
One of the things I appreciate most about this question is that it doesn’t assume what’s getting in someone’s way, it simply invites a conversation to take place.
I’ve found it helpful to think about these conversations through three common lenses:
Clarity
Skill
Will
While they absolutely overlap, understanding which gap you’re really dealing with makes it much easier to offer the right kind of support.
1. A clarity gap
Instead of encouragement or more accountability, some people at work are simply looking for more clarity.
For example, they might be unsure what success looks like or uncertain which priorities come first. In these situations, employees can spend enormous amounts of energy second-guessing themselves instead of confidently moving forward.
Support here comes down to providing direction, context and clear expectations so that people know where they’re headed and can use their strengths to get there.
2. A skill gap
Every single role requires us to learn new skills and gain experience over time. That’s just a matter of fact about work!
What that doesn’t mean, though, is that someone is in the wrong job. It simply means they’re still growing into it.
This is where coaching, mentoring, feedback and development become so valuable.
Rather than expecting immediate mastery, great leaders should aim to create opportunities for people to learn in ways that align with their natural talents.
3. A will gap
On occasion, asking this question reveals a lot about a person’s current state of willingness. If you’re astute enough, you might have noticed a change in an individual’s energy level or connection to their work.
Before jumping to any kind of conclusion (reel those anxious thoughts in a moment!), I think it’s important to get curious about why this state has manifested.
Motivation is influenced by all kinds of factors including workload, purpose, recognition, wellbeing and whether someone is regularly able to use their strengths. When we approach these conversations with empathy instead of assumptions, we’re far more likely to uncover what’s really going on.
In some cases, a small adjustment in how someone is supported is all it takes to help them reconnect with their work and perform at their best.
Supporting people without removing accountability
This is my favourite part…
Supporting someone doesn’t mean jumping in and fixing everything for them. In fact, the best leaders create the conditions for people to solve more problems for themselves. (There’s something incredibly rewarding about watching someone realize, “Actually… I’ve got this!”)
When we understand how someone naturally thinks, learns and approaches challenges, we can tailor our coaching without taking ownership of the outcome. That means we’re still holding people accountable for delivering results, but we’re recognizing that there isn’t a single path to getting there.
Making this question a part of everyday leadership
At the end of the day, I’d encourage you not to wait until someone is feeling overwhelmed or disengaged in their work.
You also don’t have to save this question for a quarterly review or an annual performance conversation. (I think it has the biggest impact when it becomes part of your everyday leadership!)
Imagine how different your one-on-ones would feel if, instead of jumping straight into project updates, you simply asked, “Where can I support you better?”
Some weeks the answer might be, “I’m all good.” But on other weeks? This question might just lead to a conversation that completely changes someone’s experience at work.
So, the next time you sit down with someone on your team, give it a try. You might uncover an opportunity for growth, or you might simply remind someone that they don’t have to figure everything out on their own.
To learn more about supporting your team through strengths-based, people-first leadership, explore our New Manager Training program today.
Frequently asked questions
Still have questions? Here are answers to some of the most common questions about supporting employees, building trust and leading through a CliftonStrengths lens.
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This question turns a conversation away from managing tasks and towards supporting your people. It shows employees that you’re invested in their success; it creates psychological safety; and it opens the door to honest conversations about what they need to do their best work.
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The best time is regularly, not just when something has gone wrong. Incorporating this question into one-on-ones and informal conversations helps normalize asking for support and strengthens trust over time.
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CliftonStrengths helps managers understand how each person naturally thinks, communicates, learns and solves problems. This makes it easier to tailor coaching and support to the individual, rather than taking a one-size-fits-all approach to leadership.
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Supporting employees doesn’t mean removing responsibility or solving every problem for them. Great leaders provide coaching and encouragement while still holding people accountable for outcomes.
The goal is to help people become more capable and confident, not more dependent.