Why Do You Want to Be a Manager? Insights from Alice Ko, Founder of Reframed Coaching
“Why do you want to be a manager?”
It’s one of the first questions I ask when someone comes to me thinking about moving into a leadership role. On the surface, it sounds simple. How you answer it, however, says a lot about what kind of manager you’ll be and whether this path is really right for you.
I’ve seen this question reveal everything from quiet confidence to hidden insecurity to an uncomfortable reality that management may not be the right path for some people (and that’s okay).Sometimes people are chasing growth or a passion for developing others. Other times, they’re chasing a title or status. This difference matters.
Here are the insights I’ve learned across my time coaching and training new managers at Reframed Coaching.
When the “why” goes wrong
It’s easy to fall in love with the image of leadership: the title, the authority, the seat at the table, and let’s be honest, the increase in pay. But, when these elements are the primary motivators, poor management typically follows. As Gallup research explains, managers who focus primarily on coaching and developing their teams achieve higher engagement and performance, highlighting that leadership is less about authority and more about fostering growth.
New managers who step in for the wrong reasons often end up overwhelmed, burnt out, with poor team performance, or simply end up questioning their decision entirely. Without a clear, grounded purpose and clarity on how to do the job well, it’s hard to navigate the emotional weight that comes with managing others.
Real talk: The best leaders want to serve, not climb
So, what makes someone ready for management?
In my experience and observation of successful teams and companies, the most effective leaders (you know, the ones who actually have engaged and high-performing teams) are genuinely curious about people. They know that being a proper manager is about developing the skillsets of others. They focus on teaching other people “how to fish” versus “giving the fish”. They’re not just focused on outcomes but are actively invested in how those outcomes happen. They want to build better systems, create healthier teams, and help others grow. And they’re willing to let go of being the expert in order to coach, support, and elevate others.
When I became a senior manager for the first time, I wasn’t even sure I wanted the role. To be completely honest, it wasn’t a role I applied for. I was perfectly happy as an individual contributor. What shifted things for me was realizing that leadership gave me the chance to shape culture and change the lives of others who desperately wanted direction and guidance. My job went from managing my own projects to strategically thinking about how to contribute to making the workplace better for the people in it.
For the first time, that’s where I found meaning, and I realized, that’s where a lot of great managers do, too.
Questions to ask yourself before saying yes
Before accepting a promotion or pushing toward a management promotion, I always encourage honest self-reflection. Not every high performer needs to be a manager, and learning to say “no” is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s not perfectly acceptable to stay in an individual contributor role, even if you are quite experienced or tenured. Organizations are finally realizing that people management is not the right fit for everybody. Leadership is only one way to grow, but it is not the only way.
When it comes to self-reflection, I ask clients these questions:
What do I actually enjoy about my current role?
Am I ready to give up being the “doer” in order to lead others?
How do I respond to conflict, ambiguity, and emotional labor?
Do I understand the difference between being a high-performing individual contributor and a high-performing manager?
Can I handle being less in control of the work and more responsible for the outcomes?
Can I flex my communication style to support different types of people?
Am I willing to listen more than I speak, and take responsibility for team dynamics, not just my own performance?
Am I comfortable navigating ambiguity and helping others feel steady in change?
Am I open to feedback about my leadership, and willing to grow through discomfort?
Am I prepared for the emotional labor of management? (e.g., handling others’ emotions, resolving conflict, supporting wellbeing)
What am I willing to give up in this transition? (e.g., being the expert, deep technical focus, immediate recognition)
Have I talked to other managers to learn what it’s really like?
They’re not easy to answer. If you answer them honestly, though, they’ll help you understand whether leadership fits your values, or whether you’re chasing something that won’t deliver what you think it will.
How management training can help you become an effective manager
If you’ve gone through these questions and know that management is the right role for you, consider investing in your skillset. You wouldn’t become an electrician without investing in some sort of training, right?
Management training helps you become a better manager by equipping you with the right tools, frameworks and habits needed to lead others with clarity and confidence. Rather than figuring it out on your own through trial and error, training gives you a playbook to lead with purpose and adapt to challenges.
A management trainer or management training course can help you learn technical skills and tangible tools to level up your management knowledge, like:
How to give constructive feedback that lands and motivates at the same time
How to initiate and have performance conversations
Proper training typically includes lots of examples and practice with a structured curriculum.
How coaching can help you clarify your motivation
On the other hand, you could also work with a coach. A coach is different from a trainer. A trainer shares tools and frameworks to help you manage people. A coach doesn’t tell you what to do: they help you reflect and apply concepts. A coach can be incredibly helpful in guiding someone through the “Should I become a manager?” decision.
One of the most powerful things coaching offers is space. Space to slow down, to listen to yourself, and to get honest about what’s really driving you.
What a coach can do:
Ask powerful questions to help you unpack the why
Surface assumptions and assess readiness
Encourages experimentation
Help identify natural strengths that would serve well in management and uncover blind spots
Offers support to find other growth paths if leadership isn’t the right fit right now
When I’m in coaching mode, I’m not here to hand you a checklist. My job at Reframed Coaching is to hold up a mirror. To ask the uncomfortable questions. To help you see what’s underneath the ambition.
I worked with a client recently who came in gunning for a senior manager role. But as we worked together, they realized what they actually wanted was more autonomy and more creative freedom in their work. What they didn’t want was more direct reports.
They ended up turning down the promotion and found a role that gave them exactly what they needed. And they were happier for it. That’s the power of clarity.
A final thought to leave you with
If you’re already asking “Why do I want to be a manager?” then you’re on the right track. The best leaders don’t take the job lightly. They pause. They reflect. And they lead with intention.
At the end of the day, management is not some shiny prize you can take home. It’s a responsibility to your people, your teams, and your organization. And when your motivation is rooted in purpose rather than prestige, it can be one of the most meaningful roles you’ll ever hold.