Overcoming First-Time Manager Jitters: Practical Tips to Build Confidence
According to a survey by Gartner, 40 percent of managers with two years or less of experience struggle to support their team. This is often caused by a lack of adequate management training, but what often compounds this statistic is a new manager’s fear of making the wrong move, feeling watched by leadership, or navigating a brand-new skill set without a mentor. During our manager training, we’ve found that 90 percent of managers really struggle with the overall mindset of managing and leading.
In this article, we’re going to distill some common fears associated with first-time management and show you how to silence that negative inner critic so you can show up with confidence and lead with integrity.
Fear #1: “What if my team doesn’t respect me?”
This is one of the most common fears I hear from new managers, and it’s especially poignant for those who’ve been promoted from within. Imposter syndrome is real. One day you’re part of the team, and the next, you’re expected to lead people (including your friends).
It can feel awkward. You might worry your team still sees you as “just one of them,” or worse, that they’re quietly questioning your credibility and leadership skills.
Here’s the truth: respect is something you have to build from the ground up, and your mindset is a huge part of that. The good news is that it’s built through consistent actions like:
Showing up prepared for meetings
Using active listening techniques
Following through with actions that align to your words
Being fair to each team member
Rewiring your internal fears around management
Reminding yourself that you are in this leadership position for a reason
These are the small, steady signals that earn trust over time.
EXAMPLE
At Reframed Coaching, we often work with new managers who’ve been promoted from within. In one workshop I led, a new manager shared how he avoided speaking up in meetings because he was worried his team would think he was being “too bossy and too direct.” He didn't want to stress his team out.
We workshopped his fear and, together, we worked on his mindset, setting clear expectations, having honest 1:1s with individuals, and we practised small ways to show up with confidence, like sharing decisions with the context required to get the team’s buy-in.
Most importantly, he received coaching around his fears and internal stories around being “too bossy.”
When we regrouped a few weeks later, this manager noticed his team responding with more trust and engagement, all because he started managing in a way that let the team know he was the leader, but also in a way felt authentic to him.
If you’re feeling unsure, remember this: You don’t need to come out swinging with authority. The old days of command and control are over. Instead, lead with curiosity, treat people with respect, and build self-awareness around your internal beliefs. What you put out is what you get back, and the more grounded and consistent you are, the more your team will reflect that back.
Fear #2: “I don’t know how to give feedback. What if I mess it up?”
Giving constructive feedback is one of the most intimidating parts of becoming a manager. This is often the very topic we tackle in group training and 1:1 sessions. New managers often want to be supportive, but many also fear saying the wrong thing or hurting someone’s confidence.
To avoid this scenario, some new managers tend to sugarcoat what they’re trying to say, or simply delay giving feedback altogether — or worse, say nothing! But without clear, timely feedback, your team is left out in the dark and guessing, which helps nobody.
EXAMPLE
We worked with a new manager at Reframed Coaching who kept rewriting her feedback notes for days before every 1:1. She was so focused on finding the perfect words that she ended up sounding scripted. And you know what? Her team felt it. And she felt even more awkward and uncomfortable.
We helped this new manager shift to a more natural, conversational approach, and we supported them in framing feedback around observed behavior, impact, and curiosity. We worked through her mindset using the concepts of Radical Candor and gave her the skills to say the words using the SBIR method. Once she let go of trying to “get it right” and focused on being real with each individual, her feedback became more helpful, more natural, and less awkward for everyone.
After working on the mindset, our recommendation is to start small by giving regular, low-stakes feedback to your team members, like acknowledging a win or suggesting a small tweak in the moment. Just focus on being clear, specific, and kind, rather than perfect!
Fear #3: “I’m afraid I don’t have all the answers.”
Many new managers fall into the trap of thinking they need to have it all figured out. But management is more about asking the right questions than it is about having all the answers. As such, it’s vital to listen closely and create space for others on your team to contribute. Trying to be the expert all the time can actually shut down collaboration and leave your team feeling unsafe.
EXAMPLE
In the early days of Reframed Coaching, I was working with a new manager who expressed that they used to panic any time someone asked a question they couldn’t answer on the spot. This individual thought saying “I’m not sure” would make them look unqualified to lead the team.
So, we got to work helping this person reframe their uncertainty as a strength and lean into curiosity. They started saying, “That’s a great question. Let me dig into it and get back to you.” Not only did it take the pressure off, but it also set a tone of transparency and curiosity that made her team feel more comfortable doing the same.
When you don’t know the answer, lead with curiosity instead of panic and say, “Let me look into that and get back to you.” Your team wants honesty, follow-through, and a leader who’s willing to learn alongside them, not a leader who knows absolutely everything.
Fear #4: “What if I make the wrong decision?”
Fact: Moving from individual contributor to new manager means making more decisions and being willing to make decisions without all relevant context.
Fiction: You don’t have to get every decision right, all of the time. Like Annie Duke says, all decisions are bets!
This kind of pressure can lead to analysis paralysis and actually impede your ability to effectively manage your team. Waiting for the perfect choice often ends up being the bigger risk than making a choice in the first place. Instead, good leadership is about making thoughtful calls, learning from the outcome, and staying accountable along the way.
EXAMPLE
At Reframed Coaching, we worked with a new manager who kept delaying a decision about shifting their teams because he was worried it would backfire.
The longer he waited, the more confused and frustrated his team became. The team just needed direction. We helped him break the decision down, gather input, and communicate his reasoning clearly, even if it wasn’t final.
And once he acted, things moved forward and he realized that momentum matters more than perfection.
As a new manager, it’s important not to aim for perfection. We encourage you to aim for two things: informed and timely. Break decisions into smaller steps, gather what you need from your team, and clearly communicate your “why” so you can build trust and develop momentum.
Fear #5: “I feel like an imposter. Am I really cut out for this?”
Nearly 70 percent of people have entertained impostor thoughts at one point in their careers, according to Harvard Business Review.
Imposter syndrome is that quiet voice in your head saying, “Everyone else knows what they’re doing, so why don’t I?” But the truth is, feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you’re unqualified. Instead, it means you care, you’re growing, and most importantly, you’re human.
EXAMPLE
At Reframed Coaching, one client shared that every time she entered a leadership meeting, she felt like she was playing dress-up, like eventually someone would call her out for not being a true leader.
We worked on separating facts from feelings and identifying the wins she was downplaying. Over time, she started keeping a “proof list” of moments where she led with clarity or made a tough call, and slowly but surely, that imposter voice lost its grip and her confidence started speaking louder.
Start tracking small wins in a Hype Document, like a successful decision you made, a valuable conversation you led, or a compliment from a colleague. This will allow your inner monologue to build up your internal proof. And when imposter thoughts creep in, revisit that list and remind yourself of this: growth feels uncomfortable because it means you’re leveling up. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
You’re more ready for management than you think!
Every new manager feels fear. It’s just part and parcel of stepping into something bigger than what you’ve done before. But, when you name them, those fears don’t have to hold you back. Work through them and ask for support along the way.
At Reframed Coaching, we believe the duty of a new manager is to show up with curiosity, courage, and care. And if you’re here, reading this, you’re already doing exactly that.
Keep going. You’ve got this.
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